Getting out from an old year it seems like everything turned upside down all at once, and unexpectedly the right turned into wrong without my acceptation or wish. They say that nothing good comes easy, but sometimes it is way too tiring to keep on punching in the darkness without a clue of wherefore I'm going to or whatfore I'm doing. Too much certainty means no meaning at all, and today I can't find a reason for being sure of anything because I'm too much pissed off to believe anything else but the lies that don't stop disguising in front of my eyes.
Where there is darkness there's no light, wherever there's light there's darkness in the shadows and that's disgusting to struggle against something that not even knows its own being, its own reality and faults and failures and meaning at all.
Starting a year it shouldn't mean more than that, I wish I realized it all for real, everything that's new and fresh and good, because it sucks to explain and show and be ready all the time, I also need protection and a break in all that, in this new year and for the next ones to come, wherever they are leading me to.
I feel like screaming now, for all the good feelings that are dying one by one, inside, outside, without warning or reason but this stupid ordinary nonsense that appears sometimes wrapped in the cloak of the intolerance and disrespect.
Time flies away, it is only 365 days for year, let's prepare it like a soil to be sown, not a field to be fought a battle that's lost in all its sense and ways.
2009 came, what does that mean?
I wish I could finally reach out that answer.
